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Thurs 27 April

Don't know why it wasn't working...

Please call me if you would also like another face to face chat & support...

Jon X

Wed 26 April

Started work on a MS Word document. My life is too full & taking a bit longer than expected...

However, this is a start....

Click here to download the word document (Right click to download to your computer)

More work tomorrow - I'll let you know when its done...


Tues 25 April

Sorry Anaka, been very busy - proper update tomorrow...

For now a couple of minor things...

Purpose of sorry is to help improve relationships by using restorative justice which may require the following ...

  1. Ability for Clay to not only hear your apology but also to express his anger hurt...
    Therefore, immediately after you say sorry, allow space for Clay to express his feelings about the incident. At this point, your task is to do reflective listening - paraphrasing content and reflecting feelings of what Clay is saying. DO NOT DEFEND YOURSELF. You should be able to say, "I understand how you could be feeling ????? considering your experience of what I did..." (or something like that)
  2. There is a possible space for you to explain your behaviours, but only after you have done the other steps. It might come at the time you are asking to be forgiven. If you do feel the need to explain your actions, make it brief and end by repeating your understanding of the hurt to Clay & yr relationship and your commitment to not do again...

Overview of the whole approach tomorrow

Jon X


24 April

Hi 'Anaka' or Anneka (spelling)

I'll do more on this tomorrow...

Sorry Steps:

  • OWN
    'Own' yr part of the issue & just focus/talk about this
  • Express Harm (Him & Yr Relationship)
    Say what you did which hurt clay and your relationship with him (or made him uncomfortable)
  • Categorise
    Let him know if it was accidental, careless, spiteful or whatever category
  • Never Again
    Let him know what yr doing to avoid doing this in the future
  • Compensation
    Ask how you can make it up to him and what you (we) can do to help heal yr relationship around this issue (or just offer him something he likes...)
    Ask if that is enough
  • Forgive
    Ask him if he can forgive you (helpful for both of you & for your relationship)

Sorry Tips

  • Actively look for reasons to say sorry.
  • Issue should be about 6-8 out of 10 in severity so he can get to a point of forgivenness
  • Sorry as a strategy to build yr relationship.
  • Must be real and come from the heart.

More tomorrow

Yoni XX

Mouth ulcers - try SM 33 or Bonjella - see doctor.

e-mail jonirose@gmail.com

 

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